Record IV

A nurse saw a patient writing a letter. She got curious and went to take a peek.
But the patient didn't wanna let her see.
Nurse (unable to contain her curiosity): "Who are you writing to?"
Patient: "I'm writing a letter to myself..."
Her curiosity grew and she thought to herself (Why would someone write a letter to himself?)
So she asked again: "So...what's written inside?"
Patient (got impatient): "You crazy ah? I haven't received the letter, how would I know??"

Record V

Two patients escape from the IMH. They climbed up a tree and one of them fell from the tree and started rolling on the ground.
After a while, the patient below shouted to the one on top: "Hey! How come you are not coming down yet?"
The patient on top replied: "No. no...I can't...I'm not ripe yet"

Record VI

One patient visited the doctor: "Doc...How? I think I'm a chicken since the day I was born..."
Doctor: "Wah! That’s very serious...Why do you only come and seek treatment now?"
Patient: "Because my family needs me to hatch the eggs..."

: ) XQ

Shane Dawson is the teacher. Haha.







Ada Q. :D

Record III

IMH has an old lady who wears black, carries a black umbrella and squats at the entrance to the IMH everyday without fail, rain or shine.
The doctor wanted to administer treatment for her but decided to understand her behavior first.
So, the doctor also wears black and carries a black umbrella; squatted besides her everyday.
The days go by...the two of them squatted side-by-side w/o a single exchange of word.
After one solid month, the old lady finally broke the silence and asked the doctor: "Err...Excuse me! Are you also a mushroom?"

;) XQ

MUAHAHAHAH! Courtesy of Jasmine, last year at NDP!

- yinLIN

CHECK OUT YOUR IDOL

This is AMAZING!!! Try it!!! FIND OUT WHO TRULY IS YOUR ROLE MODEL. DON'T SCROLL DOWN YET!! FIRST, DO THE SIMPLE MATH BELOW, THEN SCROLL DOWN TO FIND YOUR HERO. (Get your calculator ready..)

It's CRAZY how accurate this is!

1) Pick your favorite number between 1-9

2) Multiply by 3 then

3) Add 3

4) Then again Multiply by 3

5) You'll get a 2 or 3 digit number....

6) Add the digits together

Now Scroll down ................

With that number, see who your ROLE MODEL is from the list below:

1. Einstein

2. Oprah Winfrey

3. Snoopy

4. Ronald Reagan

5. Bill Gates

6. Gandhi

7. Brad Pitt

8. LKY

9. NXQ

10. JFK

I know.....I just have that effect on people.....one day you, too, can be like me.....Believe it!

P.S. Stop picking different numbers!! I AM YOUR IDOL, JUST DEAL WITH IT!!!!!! lol!

XQ

IMH Record I

Patient A: "So how... this book not bad yah?"
Patient B: "Yah agree, excellent! Astounding work. No nonsense, sharp and concise to the point. But there's a major flaw in this piece of art – too many character names to remember!!!"
Nurse: "Hey! Can the two of you put the telephone book back to the original place?"

IMH Record II

A doctor asked a patient: "If I were to cut one of your ears off, what will happen to you?"
Patient: "Then I will not be able to hear..."
Doctor: "Hmm…that's normal...so if I were to cut your other ear off, what will happen then?"
Patient: "I will not be able to see..."
The doctor became nervous and asked: "Why would you not see then???"
Patient: "Because my spectacles will fall off..."

???

After 2 years of selfless service, a man realized that he has not been promoted,
no transfer, no salary increase, no commendation and that the Company is not doing any thing about it. So he decided to walk up to his HR Manager one morning and after exchanging greetings, he told his HR Manager his observation. The boss looked at him, laughed and asked him to sit down saying;

My friend, you have not worked here for even one day.
The man was surprised to hear this, but the manager went on to explain.

Manager : How many days are there in a year?
Man : 365 days and some times 366
Manager : how many hours make up a day?
Man : 24 hours
Manager : How long do you work in a day?
Man : 8am to 4pm. ie. 8 hours a day.
Manager : So, what fraction of the day do you work in hours?
Man : (He did some arithmetic and said 8/24 hours ie . 1/3(one third)
Manager : That is nice of you! What is one-third of 366 days?
Man : 122 (1/3x366 = 122 in days)
Manager : Do you come to work on weekends?
Man : No sir
Manager : How many days are there in a year that are weekends?
Man : 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equals to 104 days
Manager : If you remove 104 days from 122 days, how many days do you now have?
Man : 18 days.
Manager : I do give you 2 weeks sick leave every year. Now remove that 14 days from the 18 days left. How many days do you have remaining?
Man :4 days Manager:- Do you work on New Year day?
Man : No sir!
Manager : Do you come to work on Labour Day?
Man : No sir!
Manager : So how many days are left?
Man : 2 days sir!
Manager : Do you come to work on the (National holiday )?
Man :No sir! Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man :1 day sir!
Manager : Do you work on Christmas day?
Man :No sir!
Manager :So how many days are left?
Man :None sir!
Manager :So, what are you claiming?
Man :???

A Story to live by

There was a blind girl who hated herself because she was blind.
She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend.
He was always there for her. She told her boyfriend,
'If I could only see the world, I will marry you.'

One day,someone donated a pair of eyes to her.
When the bandages came off, she was able to see everything,
including herboyfriend.

He asked her, 'Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?'
The girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind.
The sight of his closed eyelids shocked her. She hadn't expected that.
The thought of looking at them the rest of her life led her to refuse to marry him.

Her boyfriend left in tears and days later wrote a note to her saying:
'Take good care of your eyes, my dear, for before they were yours, they were mine.'

This is how the human brain often works when our status changes.
Only a very few remember what life was like before, and who was
always by their side in the most painful situations.

Life Is a Gift ... Today

Before you say an unkind word - Think of someone who can't speak.

Before you complain about the taste of your food - Think of someone who has nothing to eat.

Before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another - Remember that not one of us is without sin.

And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down - Put a smile on your face and think: you're alive and still around.

Hahaha ...

One truck driver was doing his usual delivery to IMH.
He discovered a flat tyre when he was about to go home.
He jacked up the truck and took the flat tyre down.
When he was about to fix the spare tyre,
he accidentally dropped all the bolts into the drain.

As he can't fish the bolts out, he started to panic.
One patient happened to walk past and asked the driver what happened.
The driver thought to himself, since there's nothing much he can do;
he told the patient the whole incident.

The patient laughed at him & said "can't even fix such a simple
problem...no wonder you are destined to be a truck driver..."
Here’s what you can do, take one bolt each from the other 3 tyres
and fix it onto this tyre. Then drive to the nearest workshop and
replace the missing ones, easy as that"

The driver was very impressed and asked "You're so smart
but why are you here at the IMH?"

Patient replied: "Hello, I stay here because I'm crazy not STUPID!"

WIFE FROM HELL (ALTERNATIVELY, AN HONEST WOMAN)

A police officer pulls over a speeding car.
The officer says,' I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.'
The driver says, 'Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control at 60;
perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating. '
Not looking up from her knitting the wife beside him says:
'Now don't be silly, dear -- you know that this car doesn't have cruise control.'
As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls,

'Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once !! ?'
The wife smiles demurely and says, 'Well dear you should be thankful
your radar detector went off when it did or your speed would have been higher.'

As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit,
the man growls at his wife and says through clenched teeth,
'Woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?'

The officer frowns and says, 'And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine.' The driver says, 'Yeah, well, you see, officer, I had it on, but I took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket.' The wife says, 'Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving.'

And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket, the driver turns to his wife and barks, 'WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??'
The officer looks over at the woman and asks, 'Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?'

( I LOVE THIS ANSWER MAN!!!! ) 'Only when he's been drinking.!!'

MIND GAME 2% or 98%


This is strange....can you figure it out?Are you the 2% or 98% of the population?


Follow the instructions! NO PEEKING AHEAD!
Do the following exercise, guaranteed to raise an eyebrow.
There's no trick or surprise. Take a pen and paper ...

Think of a number from 1 to 10
Multiply that number by 9
If the number is a 2-digit number, add the digits together
Now subtract 5
Determine which letter in the alphabet corresponds to the number you ended up with (example: 1=a, 2=b, 3=c,etc.)

Think of a country that starts with that letter.
Remember the last letter of the name of that country.
Think of the name of an animal that starts with that letter.
Remember the last letter in the name of that animal.
Think of the name of a fruit that starts with that letter.

Are you thinking of a Kangaroo in Denmark eating an Orange?
98% of people will have this answer.
I told you this was FREAKY!! If not, you're among the 2% of the population whose minds are different enough to think of something else.

Hello everyone. I know this video is one of Smosh's "old" (21 August 2009) videos but maybe some people never watch??
I love Smosh.
And Shane Dawson is in it! (Ok fine I knew this long time ago)
www.youtube.com/shanedawsontv
This is Shane Dawson's channel. If you people watch SD you all CONFIRM will be addicted one. :)
Love,
Ada Q.

HELLO PPL OF 6B♥. Although ada is dead irritating about the LC being easy, i totally agree with her. Its true ma! Yay i think most of us 顺利过关 ba!:D Hooray for us, ha. Oh then you knw we had alot of waiting time right? Yea......Domo, sittin very near to me, was so sick lar. He go take ada's dictionary(the thinkthink bk type) and flipped through it. Then ada was like telling me, "I bet he's searching for the f word!". And then thats what domo said. AHHHHH!! ADA Q IS PHYSIC!!!!!!! She arh...(无话可说) Oh then this ada was like asking domo for a sweet cos he popped one into his mouth. He hear already hor, then go and spit the sweet onto his hand and offered ada the sweet. BLEH. He arh......Oh ya his hand got saliva than he go put his hand to patrick's shirt leh!! And patrick thought he was just playing...So just keep slapping the hand away. and i was silently laughing away. im so mean haha. sry arh patrick didnt tell you. Oh yea his shirt also gt the saliva mark. LOLLL. To end this post, i shall say that DOMO YEO IS DISGUSTING AND HE's THE ONE WHO MADE ADA VOMIT! Hope all of you get full marks for LC! Yea okay bye!

HJ:D

Lyrics:

Chorus 1

I'm a Chingstah
I'm an asian wannabe
I don't hang with the G's, I just roll with the C's
When I skip down the street, all the people, they see
A super badass Chingstah, they wannabe me.
I run with scissors! I break the rules!
I drink when I drive! I loiter in schools!
I'm a hardcore thief, I steal but don't share!
I don't need to build my rep, cus I just built a bear!

Verse 1

Look at that hot chick looking this way
I don't want a girl with D's, she's gotta have A's
But I don't need no pussy cat, just to clear the fog.
I do what I want, I just chill with my dawgs
I stand like a Chingstah with my Chingstah face
I dust off both my shoulders, not for dirt, but dandruff flakes.
I like to eat drugs, especially when I'm sick.
I take some tylenol and Advil, then I feel better!

Repeat Chorus 1**

Verse 2

I'm ballin on some 13 inch rims, cus I'm bad
I'll fly 47 in a 45 if somebody makes me mad!
I love to play Monopoly, I love the police!
Every single picture I'm in, I hold my gang sign "peace"
I pillow fight my dog! I pillow fight my cat!
I pillow fight the carpet! I pillow fight this lamp!
I pillow fight my house! I pillow fight this tree.
I pillow fight the wall, I pillow fight myself!

Chorus 2

I'm a Chingstah
I'm an asian wannabe
I don't hang with the G's, I just roll with the C's
When I skip down the street, all the people, they see
A super badass Chingstah, they wannabe me.
Who are you? I'm a Chingstah!
What you want? Ice Cream!
Where you at? I'm home!
Whats 3 x 3? Nine!
Who farted? That was me!
Favorite Jonas? Trick Question!
Best Rapper? Dr. Suess
Who's Yo Daddy? My Mom!


BTW, the LC easy hor.
Ada Q.

Hello ppl. Those who have taken the photos of today our void deck studying pls post them! I dont have so cannot post arh. And I think we shld rly change that youtube thing! What about to photos? Thats all, bye.

HJ:D

One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken
Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken
Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, '.... and so Chicken Little
went up to the farmer and said, 'The sky is falling, the sky is falling!'
The teacher paused then asked the class, 'And what do you think that
farmer said?' One little girl raised her hand and said, 'I think he said:
'Holy Shit! A talking chicken!''
The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

Guess who posted this post?

hi. i knw many of you dont watch tennis but well...yea. just check this out kay?



yea yea that serena williams arh... said i will kill you for that, listen carefully. must at least watch till maybe about 3:30. oh ya jy's for listening. byes.

HJ:D

Hello everyone.


I am going to post a song.


Now here.


As a post.


And...It's very nice. To me lah.


So just listen.


It's the best I could find cos I couldn't find one that has pictures and stuff. Sorry.


So enjoy.


Ada Q.

Pink Kanye west is the biggest piece of shit on earth. Quote me.

katyperry F*CK U KANYE. IT'S LIKE U STEPPED 0N A KITTEN.

ddlovato (Demi Lovato) AHHHHH!!!!!! GO @taylorswift13!!!!! SOOOO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!!!

David_Henrie some1 needs to slap Kanye West who does he think he is?

johncmayer Big love to my girl @taylorswift13. A class act.

justinbieber 2night is the most amazing night ever! Congrats to @taylorswift13 . I got your back. And I met Beyonce and she told me she loves ONE TIME!!

glorianatheband @taylorswift13 congratulations sweetheart! Keep ur head up. We love u!

martinsays (Martin Johnson from Boys Like Girls) dear kanye west, you are a classless human being, unworthy of the stage he stands on. grow up.

therealpickler (Kellie Pickler) Tator Tot, you handled yourself with Grace. Kanye, go grow some f-ing balls bitch! don't mess w/my lil sis!!********************************

TheRealJordin (Jordin Sparks) RT @mdoolittle I know I'm late, but really Kanye? Really? Taylor Swift is the sweetest girl ever & Beyonce is so gracious. Not right at all!

yelyahwilliams (Hayley Williams) Taylor swift, y'all. #teamTaylor

Taylor's band mates also offered their support:

GrantMickelson My boss and friend is the most talented and classy woman I know. Kanye is a douchebag. Done deal.

amosjheller I love my boss. She's a classy, dedicated and loving person who deserves her success.

caitlinbird My girl just took a beating on national fu&*%#>tv, conquered it performing flawlessly and left with ultimate dignity. That's my Taylor.

ETA:

NICKZANO: Love Kanye the artist but that was some bullshit^*! People Jim Wilson did the same shit to our President. Put that passion into our future.

Haylie K (Haylie Duff): well, he accomplished exactly what he wanted, everyone is talking about kanye.

IKETURNER: "Kanye went too far. You never treat a lady like that. That shit was wrong, Ye. Dead wrong."

adamlambert: Kanye needs to chill. He freaks out every year. It ain't that deep man.

stephaniepratt: Ummm when taylor swift got up to get her award and some beyonce fan/publicist came on stage to talk shit and rep beyonce... NOT COOL

dannygokey I have one question - How could you be so heartless??

dannygokey Congratulations Taylor Swift!!! I'm very Happy for her ~ She's very classy woman!

immattgiraudoooooohhhh Kanye, you make it so hard to be a fan.. so hard. Gaga was rockin' though. I was scared ..but at the same time, I liked it.

michaelsarver1 Taylor Swift u rock! Congrats on your accomplishment and for representing country music, and all music for that matter, with amazing class!

JoelMadden WOW Taylor Swift's first VMA and she didn't even get to ENJOY it. Kanye You were just a bully on that one man.

heidimontag "congrats @taylorswift13 on your vma!!! you deserve it more than anyone!! I saw the devil in action when kanye west stole your mic! u rock!!!"

ChesterBe Kanye West has officially earned the title of King Douchebag! Way to go dickhead. To think I thought he was kinda cool. LAME.....

OfficialKat (Kat Dennings): I'm throwing away my Kanye glasses. They were 8 bucks, no skin off my apple

ricky_martin kanye what an asshole dude.

ricky_martin @taylorswift13 has sold more than 10 million cds in the last 2 years u deserve the award 10 million fans cant be wrong. enjoy ur night!

-

Even though I'm not a fan of Taylor Swift OR Beyonce (and I haven't posted in forever!), Kanye West, that was a total douchebag move. It's like you stepped on a k1tt3n, to quote Katy Perry. And ANYONE can tell that your so-called 'apology' is just to keep the press talking about you. Srsly!? Drinking HENESSY before the VMAs and ruining a poor girl's first Moonman?

Beyonce had so much more class and graciousness than you. Go take notes, hun.

- Yin Lin

P.S. (Thou hath no fury like a mouse house scorned.)

P.P.S. (Directly copied and pasted, so any swear words were unintentional.)

Finally some one mentions Taiwan on this blog!!



-Patrick

This is Thailand Ah Gua.

This is Taiwan Ah Gua.

Just wanna ask everyone to open ur ears until they are as big as those of the BFG during LC. If necessary, just heed lin lao shi's advice and dig your ears.
Good Luk!

Rebecca

PS BFG=Big Friendly Giant

Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.
Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'
'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies.
'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'

Moral of the story:

If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Lesson 2:

A priest offered a Nun a lift.
She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
The priest nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'

Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

Lesson 3:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'
Puff! She's gone.
'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'
Puff! He's gone.
'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'

Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 4:

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'
The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson 5:

A turkey was chatting with a bull.
'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.'
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..

Lesson 6

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.
The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who sh*ts on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of sh*t is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep sh*t, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

hey ppl i think we shld change the youtube part of the blogskin rite? its like erm v. useless cos we also nvr rly post anythin related to vids. maybe just lately, the ones that ada posted? so shld we put up a poll or what? or just leave it? oh ya someone pls do smth about the playlist!

HJ:D

Yea our class blog is pretty DEAD so I'm gonna post vids for my first post on this blog.
Enjoy.
Ada Q. :D





OMG Pikachu is a GIRL!!

I realised that our class blog is dead. So im like here to revive it although yinlin actually posted like a few days ago. hahaha. And our music player is screwed. cant listen to any of the music thr. someone who has an acc, when free pls do smth about it! refer to facebook---yin lin's note to us for hw list! for those who dont have fb and those who lost their p/w, e.g. ada quek, then thats too bad. haha. i'm being like so random. gd luck on doing hw. i believe you'll need it.

HJ:D

Prelims are over but that just means less time to PSLE. No point crying over spilled milk, it's already too late; if you had careless mistakes (like me!), stop grieving and look forward to celebrating one and a half months of complete freedom after PSLE. (:

Must stay optimistic and idealistic/realistic. What's over is over, think 'bout the future.

Prepare something CREATIVE for Ms Hng and the class, okay? We want to see your original brains do something creative and... hilarious.

- Yinlin

BOOOOOOOO! 37 DAYS TO PSLE!!! On the bright side, PRELIMS ARE OVER!!! & NO MORE SLOGGING FOR ORAL!!! -grin grin grin- Oh ya, i better say this b4 i go on---this post only materialised cuz of ur dear adorable ms ang hui jan. & i wont b typing bout food chains anymore---im ultra damn bored of it. so how bout this?
Meaning of Tesseract:In geometry, the tesseract, also called an 8-cell or regular octachoron, is the four-dimensional analog of the cube. The tesseract is to the cube as the cube is to the square. Just as the surface of the cube consists of 6 square faces, the hypersurface of the tesseract consists of 8 cubical cells. The tesseract is one of the six convex regular 4-polytopes.
Meaning of Freak:In contemporary usage, the word "freak" is commonly used to refer to a person with something unusual about their appearance or behaviour. This usage dates from the so-called freak scene of the 1960s and 1970s. "Freak" in this sense may be used either as a pejorative, a term of admiration, or a self-description. It can also denote a strong obsession with a particular activity, e.g., "He's such a neat-freak" or "You're a singing freak".
Meaning of E=mc2(Although some smarties eq.ms yl n einstein may noe...):In physics, mass–energy equivalence is the concept that the mass[1] of a body is a measure of its energy content. What we ordinarily call the mass of a body is always equal to the total energy inside, up to a factor that changes the units. Or:where E is energy, m is relativistic mass, and c is the speed of light in a vacuum, which is 299,792,458 meters per second.
Gawd. Just 3 explanation so much liao. So HJ, hows this post???

Rebecca

PS All this info are frm wiki :D